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A Ranma ½ revenge fic

Credits at end of story.

This is complicated. Where to begin… where to begin…

I guess I should explain some things. You ever hear of a 'revenge' fic? Probably you have. If you haven't… well, let me tell you a story.

Wait, let me introduce myself first. My name is Brian Randall. Just a guy, I write fanfiction… nothing special, really.

But I have this friend, and he gets me into trouble…

I rubbed my eyes and looked away from the monitor. That was… four, now. Four fics parodying Durandall's story, and the third one to give credit to me. I couldn't help but feel a little irked by that. It happens, I suppose, but I know it annoys the hell out of Durandall to have me be given the credit for something he did.

I yawned, checking the clock. It was late, and I had to open the next day at work. Yeah, I have a crap job. Why do you think I write fanfiction? Anyway. It was late, I should have been in bed… but I was awake anyway. The next thing I know, reality ripples around me, and I'm in… I don't know… I guess… it's where I go when I'm feeling especially creative.

It's not much, really. A desk, a computer, and me. Oh yeah, and the chair. Can't forget the chair. Of course, the first thing I notice is that I'm my avatar, and not myself. That's fine, it normally means that I have a good idea, and am ready to commit it to media. So I plopped myself in the chair and set to typing… and nothing happened. I had nothing to write.

This was bad. What the heck was I doing in a daydream realm in my avatar with no ideas? Then it hit me. I hadn't sent myself. Something pulled me in. Shuddering, I left. Well. I tried to. Something was stopping me.

That was very bad.

I turned around slowly. Did I mention the chair? It swivels. Nicely, too. The next thing I see is that there's a pair of figures behind me. Well, in front of me, now. I'm stunned. My avatar isn't much more of a physical specimen than I am, so this… this is bad. I can't fight. Well, my avatar knows how, he has to. He writes about it. But he can't actually do it.

Observations begin to trickle in through the fear. Figure one. Short hair, brown, somewhat cute, knowing smirk… right. Nabiki. Figure two, longer hair, domestic… duh. Kasumi. Obviously enough. Probably from the same fic.

I manage a nervous chuckle, "Ah… hey there, girls?" It was meant to be a statement, not a nervously questioning whimper. My avatar's got more of a spine than me, but not much.

Wait a minute. What fic did I do something wrong by them in? The Unbroken Circle? No… Durandall's working on that one with me, and Kasumi wouldn't… Then I check their outfits. Kasumi doesn't typically wear power-armor, and those blades look wicked. Nabiki's outfit is nice but… that hand cannon looks nasty. I blink at that one. It's the Hentai Blaster MKII 3000. I know that fic. I wrote it… but why would a character from a fic be coming after me instead of one of the canon characters?

This was very, very… you get the idea.

Kasumi's blade tickles my throat, while I explore just how far the chair leans back, "Can I… help you?" My voice seems to be stuck on muffled whimper. Probably for the best, really.

Nabiki tucks the hand cannon into a holster, and crosses her arms across her chest, "Brian, Brian, Brian… do you know just how much irritation your 'Woeful Life' story caused?"

I frown, shaking my head. Kasumi's blade doesn't give me much room, but… "I didn't write that story!"

Kasumi rolls her eyes, but the blade comes away slightly. I almost breathe a sight of relief. Almost. Kasumi's eyes bore into me, "Right… we believe you, really." Her tone of voice says otherwise.

Nabiki frowns, "Do you know why we were sent here?"

This puts a few pieces into place for me. They were sent here. I was pulled here. Damn. It was a setup. "Um… no. Probably to hunt down Durandall for writing the fic, right?"

They blink at this, and then exchange a glance. Kasumi speaks first, "No. This is about AWL. That story, and the other stories it spawned."

I'm starting to get irritated at this point, but I'm also coming up with a plan… "I didn't write it! Let me bring Durandall here, and he can tell you the truth!"

Nabiki frowns, and draws her gun again. That, I don't want to get hit with. Especially here. In reality, the effects could be shrugged off, but here… she might drag me back into the fic. Or worse, into canon ‘reality’. I wouldn't survive there… Jusenkyou curses are par for the course, and I know just which curse… or would I? "What's in that gun?"

She blinks, and Kasumi shrugs, "Drowned girl water."

They both look dismayed as I relax a little, "Oh. Well, Durandall has that coming to him, but I'll warn you… he won't mind it very much."

That catches them off guard. I have to say, for assassins, they aren't very good, if even I can throw them off…. maybe their roles just don't fit them well. I would have expected more efficiency from them. No matter. I spin the chair while they're distracted, and dive for the table.

While they're complaining, I feel a faint dampness and shifting sensation. I can deal with that for now… but the blades reducing my chair to sawdust don't reassure me much.

I grab the small case taped to the bottom of my desk, and tear it open. It had a note that says 'IOU, Durry-chan.'

I think I know who set me up, at least. There's a crunching noise, as my keyboard takes a hit. Crud. I have a backup, but… I scramble away to the far end of the table, and grab another box. Thank god, Durandall hasn't hit this one. I take the syringe, and inject it quickly.

The girls flip the table off me, and stare at me in dismay.

I grin, "SI serum. I kept it around for emergencies, but…"

They smirk at me. It isn't working. This is bad.

Still, I have some powers. I gather them to me, and create a ball of flame. It doesn't even faze them, so I run like hell. I can hear Kasumi's chanting as I attempt to translate, "Darkness beyond twilight…"

Any fan-boy worth their salt knows that that phrase translates from ‘aggressor’ to ‘common’ as "You are SO screwed." I didn't need to hear more. I wasn't sure what was going on, but I couldn't translate to my own reality. Fine.

I translate to Durandall's demesne.

He's not there. Great. I start digging through his piles of trash, looking for some more SI serum. A sudden drain in energy tells me that Miss Tendo (one of them) has just annihilated my realm. Lovely. I manage to find some of Durandall's stash of SI serum, and inject myself. Stings a bit.

His realm supports SI much better than mine, but I still need to be wary. Kasumi and Nabiki have immunity, somehow, but everyone else should immediately succumb to my power if they see me. Unless someone's been arming them behind my back… which might be the case. I know that 'Vignettes' Kasumi didn't have any weapons, just magic power, and that's where she's from. But why is she after me for 'A Woeful Life'? Wait, scratch that. Who sent them?

This should be easy. 'Vignettes' was never posted. So, it's a pre-reader. Which one of them could it have been?

Druid? No, not his style. I get the feeling that if he wanted me dead, he'd have done it himself. And a lot more efficiently, too. I shiver at the thought.

Next suspect. Ginrai? No, he'd never… would he? Nah… I don't interest him enough either way.

And… no, it couldn't be him.

But… if it wasn't them, then…

Of course. I never even sent it to the pre-readers. Only one person has access to my computer.

Durandall. He set me up. He had me post his story, so he could persuade the cast of 'Vignettes' to do a revenge fic… but that was silly, Nabiki and Kasumi's analogues didn't show up in the original or the parodies.

Oh well. It was him, I'm sure. Maybe he was more than just annoyed with me, for all those other authors giving me credit. I frowned, sensing that the Tendos were drawing near. I had to finish this, and fast. The last thing I need right now is an addiction to the SI serum, and until I can deal with them… I can't go home.

So I summoned Durandall. In his avatar, of course.

He's an SI veteran, but I catch him off guard. Nullification, instantly. Now he's not much more than his normal self. He can only stare at me for a stunned moment before saying, "What the hell is this for?!"

I smirk knowingly, "I got you. You thought you were… no matter. The Tendos are coming, and I'm going to give you to them in exchange for my own safety."

He glares at me, but there's not much he can do. He's powerless, and I'm a girl right now anyway. Right… need to take care of that. SI powers… He manages an envious sigh before the Tendos appear. I'm not going to explore that further. His life… his choice. If he's an SI veteran, why doesn't he…

Kasumi and Nabiki step out of a portal, behind a stack of the trash Durandall's got accumulated. Kasumi looks irate, while Nabiki looks… furious. Though that Iczel armor looks nice on her… She spits in my direction, "What the heck are you doing, attacking this innocent guy?"

I blink, and look at Durandall, "Hey… YOU wrote 'A Woeful Life', didn't you?"

He nods, "Oh, yeah. Why… what's this about?"

Kasumi grimaces, "No… sorry, Brian wrote it."

I'm getting angry at this point, but I doubt I can fight them. Even if I had the power to fight them, I'm just too nervous to use the SI powers. If I can't talk them out of this… "Who sent you two?"

They share a wince, and Kasumi hands a picture to Durandall, "This is… our employer."

Durandall looks at the picture and starts laughing his head off.

This is very, very, very… you know the drill.

Nervously, I snatch the picture away from him, and look at it.

It's me. Not my avatar, me.

Oh. Damn. How the hell did I pull that off?

I look up, but the Tendos are smirking at me, while Durandall drops an empty syringe. Not good.

"I'm sending you home. Don't read too many of the e-mails saying you wrote it. You might start to believe them."

I can only nod at this point, he's got the SI powers, so… he's right. I'm going home, then.

He dispels the Tendos, and then I vanish.

And that's why I find myself here, back in reality. And the moral of the story, my friends, is never post for someone else. Or you get your name stuck on someone else's stories. Or even worse, associated with SI/Revenge fics.

And, uh, if anyone asks, this was written by Durandall. Really!

Actually, Brian wrote it. Honest!


Written by: Brian Randall and Durandall. (This time we mean it.)

Disclaimer: All hail Takahashi-sama, for creating the fine works she has. In that vein of thought, I am using her creations without permission from her, Viz, or anyone else who actually does own the rights to Ranma.

January 03, 2001

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Webmaster: Larry F
Last revision: January 7, 2006

Old Gray Wolf